Long Day

Today we planted seed, fertilized and spread cow manure for the new lawn.  It was alot of work.  6,000sf doesn't seem so big until you have to spread forty bags of cow manure (and forty bags was not enough -- we still need forty more!).  It is only the beginning however.  Now we have to do round the clock watering to keep it moist for the next three to four weeks.  Loads and loads of positive thoughts won't hurt either.  Although I am not really one to believe in the positive-thoughts-brings-a-positive-outcome-mumbo-jumbo -- you either did it right or wrong and time will tell.

Tomorrow is another day of time-consuming yard work as well.  We have to unload forty bags of mulch (80lbs each) into our border area as a "dressing."  I am so tired right now I just can't wait for tomorrow!

Poop on The New Couch

One of the humorous things about potty training is your toddler's attempt at wiping his butt.  However, it is not so funny when the words "poop" and "new couch" are in the same sentence.  My husband told me last night Ethan disappeared for a moment only to reappear and sit next to him on the couch.  It didn't take long for him to notice a brown stain on the couch.  At first he thought it was a chocolate stain (if you knew my husband you would know this probably sent a shiver of excitement through his body since he loves chocolate more than his own son) then quickly realized it was not.   I won't go into the gory details about how Ethan didn't do such a good job at wiping his butt, "but" my husband moved swiftly into action by cleaning the butt and the couch and all is well again until the next time. 

Winter Grass Wonderland

 It is that time of the year again and after getting an estimate of $650 to scalp, dethatch and plant winter grass we decided to do it ourselves…again… and hope the lawn looks better this year than it did last year (and the year before).  I have planted winter lawns for the majority of the years I have lived in Arizona, which is nearly all of my life, and none has beguiled me more than this Maricopa lawn.  After multiple conversations with landscapers, Home Depot Guys, and other neighbors I learned we just have really bad soil.  Since I don't want to pay someone to do the lawn and I want it to look great I had to do some research on how to make my lawn look fabulous this winter.

A fabulous lawn requires good -- not crappy soil.  In order to give our lawn the best start we will need to get rid of as much summer grass as possible and tear up the top 1/4" of soil.   It took nearly two days and approximately 10 large garbage cans full of clippings to get the lawn ready for dethatching. This involved mowing the lawn two to three times to get the summer grass to about an 3/4" tall.  Unfortunately, after mowing away the last green Bermuda grass I received our water bill with the new rate increase -- needless to say $214 is ridiculously high for a house that doesn't have a pool! And that made me think twice about my winter lawn.

By looking at the pictures of our lawn one can see why our bill might be a bit high.  Our lot is on 1/4 acre and our yard comprises about 6,000 s.f..  The best thing about where we live -- is our yard and it is quite beautiful when it is green.  I guess we will put up with the large water bills for awhile. 

After scalping the lawn (cutting it very low with the mower) we dethatched it with a dethatcher. This is a machine that tears up the top 1/4" of soil and loosens any thatch (grass smothering the soil).  After the dethatching we will plant the winter seed, spread a generous amount of manure and fertilizer -- then water, water, water.  As always -- I will post my progress as it happens.  For better or worse.

Who was I kidding?

I just received my plans and DVD from The New Yankee Workshop for my Adirondack Chairs. Not only do I need much bigger tools (and more expensive) than what I thought there is no way I can build this. Norm, the woodshop guy, only supplied instructions to cut wood “from scratch.” In chef-speak that would be like making a cake not from a box with the name Betty Crocker on it -- or imagine cutting down a tree and making a two by four out of it. Alas, I am afraid the Adirondack chair is way out of my league (even with a helper) at this time – or forever.

My trusty little helper, Ethan, and I are going to stick to easy stuff.  For example, we are adding bun feet to this ancient treasure chest (not really -- well, we are really adding bun feet it just is not ancient) and then refinishing it.  We will keep you posted and hopefully for the rest of the work he will have his pants on.

Mommy Group

I was a single parent for fifteen years, and so it seemed, feared by all married women because I may steal their husband (that is what we single women do -- prey on married men).  I never really felt like I fit in with the married Mommy's neither then nor now.   And so it was with trepidation that I went to a Mommy Group get together last week.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and  not as excruciatingly humiliating as the Stroller Strides mommy group.  Stroller Strides is a married mommy group that meets for fitness and association.  The association part I get, but the fitness part was a joke.  I felt like a complete fool jumping around a stroller singing nursery rhymes while an overweight mommy shouted orders from a bench. I lasted one meeting in that group.

One of the members of this new mommy group is starting a book club so I asked for the details to join.  You can't imagine how overjoyed I was to meet women who were as hungry for intellectual stimulation as I am (and can you blame me -- I spend the majority of my week with a three year old?).  When I received the email I noticed it was at someone's house so I inquired about having it at the Library so as not to be disturbed by children during our vigorous debates (or so I fantasized) and added "children aren't allowed, right?"  Well, if I was interested in the club, that comment cemented their non-interest in me.  Unfortunately, I was unaware of the rule "never have a get together that isn't centered around your off-spring." As such my comment revealed me to be undesirable mommy club material and have not been invited back.  Kind of bummer because I was really looking forward to hanging out with a bunch of non-feminist-pacifier-toting-my-baby-is-the-center-of-my-universe anti-intellectuals. Not.

Being a Parent Sometimes Sucks A**

Of course there are many beautiful moments of being a parent like when your child says for the first time "I love you momma" or "I touch your boobies, I love you."  What about nursing your child? Those were very special times watching them fall asleep in your arms.  I used to sleep with my first son on my chest when he was newborn -- that was special time.  What about the look on his face the first time he scored a goal in soccer?   Yes, that was a precious moment.

But... there are those moments when it is not so beautiful.  For example the time one of them tooted in the grocery store line and people were looking at me like I did it (I didn't).  Or the time my older son, at age three, escaped into the garage, found my open red can of paint and painted my white car?  I can tell you racing stripes on a taurus wagon looked really stupid.  There was also the time my son decided to run away because he didn't get what he wanted.  He made it to the park and hid in a tree while a police car drove around looking for him (of course I called the police the minute he walked out the door to teach him a lesson).  He came home a little bit later saying it didn't work out because the police were looking for him.  Then there was the time he stole a hat from Sport Chalet (he was 15). I discovered his indiscretion, took the hat away, called the police, explained the siutation and asked if they would have an officer meet me at the store. He didn't get arrested, but it scared the bejesus out of him which was the point.  But nothing sucks a** more than having given your grown child the tools to have a decidely better life than most then have to kick him out of the house because he decided mooching was better than working for something.  And that...is why I think parenting sucks a** right now.

"My Roomate Drew It On There..."

Today my oldest son showed up at my house to get ready for a job interview (why he didn't get ready at his place of residence I do not know).  During our brief visit I noticed the top half of his cast was gone (he sawed it off) and that he was sporting a rather prominent drawing of a penis with testicles on it.   I didn't say anything about this until he came back from his interview.  He told me the manager asked when he was going to have "this removed (pointing to the cast)" -- to which my son replied "oh that ...my roommate drew it on there..." thinking he was pointing to the drawing.  The manager, being a man (hence the term man-ager), was as unaffected by the drawing as my son was and said "no, I mean the cast..when are you having it removed?"  Oddly, my son got the job.

I am thrilled he got the job and hope he doesn't reason with his teenager-male-brain the penis picture brought him luck and have it made into a tattoo.