Poop, Puke and Paint...Oh My!

Today is the first day after working three 12-hour days in a row.  Granted, the second day was only seven hours, but still tiring none the less.  I can't believe how exhausted I am.  My friend Jeana, also an RN albeit retired now, used to sleep nearly to noon after working mulitples and I could never understand why.  Now I do.  Alas, I don't get to sleep to noon anymore thanks to a very beautiful little blonde.  I also don't get to have nice stuff anymore either.  Well, I do buy nice stuff and it doesn't stay nice for very long.  Which brings me to how atrociously depressing this first-day-off-in-three has been. 

I awoke this first-day-off-in-three to clouds -- I felt blissfully happy.  I figured today was going to be blustery and wintery like winter is supposed to be -- but it was not.  First thing after breakfast I go to fold the laundry in the dryer.  As I am taking out each white piece of clothing I notice ugly black stains on my shirts and new Victoria Secret underwear -- each item resembling a Jackson Pollock painting.  Long story short -- I forgot to take a pen out of my scrubs.  It is usually the teenager, toddler or dog destroying my nice stuff - this time it was my own carelessness.  For example, a few years ago I bought a $500 hand loomed area rug from Pottery Barn.  I didn't have it three months before the two dogs had ruined several areas of "loomage" with their playing.  I still covet this rug dearly so today when I noticed a faint green stain I just felt sick.  The green stain looked very similar to previous stains I had cleaned up and those were due to dog bile - more specifically Jack the Dog "throw up."  After spending fifteen minutes trying to get the stain out I can only assume this happened on one of the last three days because it looks quite "set in" so I give up and go outside.

While outside watering the plants and cleaning the patio I notice paint on my $800 patio furniture.  Red paint.  Also, red and yellow paint all over the flagstone.  Seriously.  Can this get any worse?  All I get out of Ethan is "Daddy and Jace were painting".  Painting a project on my $800 patio furniture. I don't even know what to say to this..... so I will leave it at that.  At this point I go to the bedroom with my head in my hands because I can't believe this day: stains on the clothes ($$), stains on the patio furniture ($$$$) and a big green stain on my rug.  I start to sit down on the chest at the bottom of my bed and on the antique quilt I bought in Vermont ($$$)....POOP stains. Apparently Ethan had pooped outside earlier without telling me and had sat on my antique quilt while I hung pictures begging me to let him on the bed (thank god I said no to that). 

To say this day has been completely draining and feeling very much like work (cleaning poop and bile) is an understatement.  Poop seems to be a recurring theme in my life and of my blog.  I only wish it were as funny in real life as it seems to be to those who read my blog.  If I weren't so exhausted I would probably be laughing my ass off right now -- okay not really.  At this point poop just isn't funny anymore. 

Perhaps tomorrow after a good nights sleep I will be less exhausted-- and maybe -- just maybe the weather will be more agreeable with clouds, much colder temperatures and snow.  I think I may feel much more positive about poop -- after all tomorrow is another day.