Poop, Puke and Paint...Oh My!

Today is the first day after working three 12-hour days in a row.  Granted, the second day was only seven hours, but still tiring none the less.  I can't believe how exhausted I am.  My friend Jeana, also an RN albeit retired now, used to sleep nearly to noon after working mulitples and I could never understand why.  Now I do.  Alas, I don't get to sleep to noon anymore thanks to a very beautiful little blonde.  I also don't get to have nice stuff anymore either.  Well, I do buy nice stuff and it doesn't stay nice for very long.  Which brings me to how atrociously depressing this first-day-off-in-three has been. 

I awoke this first-day-off-in-three to clouds -- I felt blissfully happy.  I figured today was going to be blustery and wintery like winter is supposed to be -- but it was not.  First thing after breakfast I go to fold the laundry in the dryer.  As I am taking out each white piece of clothing I notice ugly black stains on my shirts and new Victoria Secret underwear -- each item resembling a Jackson Pollock painting.  Long story short -- I forgot to take a pen out of my scrubs.  It is usually the teenager, toddler or dog destroying my nice stuff - this time it was my own carelessness.  For example, a few years ago I bought a $500 hand loomed area rug from Pottery Barn.  I didn't have it three months before the two dogs had ruined several areas of "loomage" with their playing.  I still covet this rug dearly so today when I noticed a faint green stain I just felt sick.  The green stain looked very similar to previous stains I had cleaned up and those were due to dog bile - more specifically Jack the Dog "throw up."  After spending fifteen minutes trying to get the stain out I can only assume this happened on one of the last three days because it looks quite "set in" so I give up and go outside.

While outside watering the plants and cleaning the patio I notice paint on my $800 patio furniture.  Red paint.  Also, red and yellow paint all over the flagstone.  Seriously.  Can this get any worse?  All I get out of Ethan is "Daddy and Jace were painting".  Painting a project on my $800 patio furniture. I don't even know what to say to this..... so I will leave it at that.  At this point I go to the bedroom with my head in my hands because I can't believe this day: stains on the clothes ($$), stains on the patio furniture ($$$$) and a big green stain on my rug.  I start to sit down on the chest at the bottom of my bed and on the antique quilt I bought in Vermont ($$$)....POOP stains. Apparently Ethan had pooped outside earlier without telling me and had sat on my antique quilt while I hung pictures begging me to let him on the bed (thank god I said no to that). 

To say this day has been completely draining and feeling very much like work (cleaning poop and bile) is an understatement.  Poop seems to be a recurring theme in my life and of my blog.  I only wish it were as funny in real life as it seems to be to those who read my blog.  If I weren't so exhausted I would probably be laughing my ass off right now -- okay not really.  At this point poop just isn't funny anymore. 

Perhaps tomorrow after a good nights sleep I will be less exhausted-- and maybe -- just maybe the weather will be more agreeable with clouds, much colder temperatures and snow.  I think I may feel much more positive about poop -- after all tomorrow is another day.

"Yes We Got Along!"

The question I hear most since I got back from my trip to Boston was -- "Did you two get along?"  I am not sure if this alludes to me and my unwarranted pretentious disposition or just a question one would ask when you plan a vacation with someone you haven't seen in 15 years.  I hope it is the latter.  When you think about it planning a four day trip with someone you haven't talked to or seen in fifteen years, let alone sharing a hotel room, does seem rather risque.  Oddly, or not, it was if we picked up where we last left off. 

We last left off when her youngest, and my only one at the time, both were three.  Now hers are 18 and 21 and my oldest is 18 and youngest is three.  For her it must be like de ja vu because she keeps calling my now three year old, Ethan, "Jace" his older brother - who at the time was three.  It seems as though much has changed yet who we are at the core really hasn't.  I feel very fortunate to have reconnected with my friend whom I have known since third grade.  Even more fortunate that her memory of things is much more preserved than mine and I get to hear stories of our childhood, and later, letters -- of things I had forgotten.

For those who anticipated I would have scared my dear friend away with my critical unabashed unfounded and pretentious wisdom -- I didn't. Nor did her snoring scare me away.  We look forward to our next trip.

Joys of Parenthood: Overflowing Toilets

As I was in the kitchen preparing to pour myself a much needed Jack Daniels...no... just kidding...I was pouring myself a Coke (yes -- can you believe it?  From a can.  I have weaned myself off of McDonald's Coke).  Anyway, all of the sudden Ethan comes sloshing (yes, sloshing) out of my bedroom saying "uh oh!"  I run to the bathroom and what do I see:  a toilet overflowing -- poop and all.

It seems as though "poop" is a predominant theme in my blog and I am wondering if I should change the title to "Just Another Blog About Poop"?  I don't know if this keeps happening because I have a toddler or because I am an RN.  Patient's always want us to see their poop -- for some reason they think we are obsessed with it.  We are not.  The doctor just wants to know they are pooping -- which is why I have to ask "when was your last BM?"  I don't use the word "poop" since it seems rather vulgar.  Anyway, it could be poop is so predominant in my blogs because anything that has to do with the butt is funny... farting, pooping, gerbils (well, that's another story) and my toddler is into all of those...except gerbils. 

I went into hyper-speed (Star Trek Lingo) to clean up the poopy mess since our baseboards were covered in toilet water by at least a 1/2 an inch and moving fast toward the wood floor. Once it was cleaned and the adorable little Ethan had finally stopped saying "I didn't do it on purpose (which is his new saying for everything he does now)...." -- we sat back to watch Dora and drank some deliciously ice cold canned Coke.

Gel Polish...what's that?

A few weeks ago I learned from the manicurist I could have nail polish that would not wash off or chip for three to four weeks for the reasonable price of $30 (including manicure).  "Wow!" I thought -- that would be great since I wash my hands so much regular polish barely makes it past a couple of days.  I asked if it was damaging to the nails and the answer was "no."  The process involved baking each of the five coats in a mini tanning bed like contraption (same machine used for fake nails) for five minutes each.  Unfortunately the nail polish, which is basically gel "fake" nails, lasted only ten days and was very damaging to my nail.  My nails are very brittle and thin as if I had "fake" nails put on.  They really did look beautiful for the ten days they lasted.  Always shiny and no chipping.  However, because of the nail damage I would not have it done again.  Well, unless it was for a special occasion because it did look good.

Long Day

Today we planted seed, fertilized and spread cow manure for the new lawn.  It was alot of work.  6,000sf doesn't seem so big until you have to spread forty bags of cow manure (and forty bags was not enough -- we still need forty more!).  It is only the beginning however.  Now we have to do round the clock watering to keep it moist for the next three to four weeks.  Loads and loads of positive thoughts won't hurt either.  Although I am not really one to believe in the positive-thoughts-brings-a-positive-outcome-mumbo-jumbo -- you either did it right or wrong and time will tell.

Tomorrow is another day of time-consuming yard work as well.  We have to unload forty bags of mulch (80lbs each) into our border area as a "dressing."  I am so tired right now I just can't wait for tomorrow!