"Are You Sucking Kidding Me?"

Fifteen years ago, when I was much more judgemental, if my then four year old son had said this I would have been appalled and embarrassed.  Fifteen years later -- ahhh, well, what are you going to do?  I only hope and pray my-now-four-year-old doesn't say this to his teacher when she says "Tommy the Tyrannosaurus is going to be here today for show and tell!"  It's actually funny because he says it with just the right inflection (high and long notes) and uses it appropriately in sentence structure every time.  For example, yesterday I said I have moved all the snacks out of his reach so he cannot climb the pantry shelves to get them for himself and he said "are you f**ing kidding me?"  Fortunately, only his father and I know what he is saying because his "f's" sound like "s's" so the end result is: "are you sucking kidding me?  I haven't decided if this version is better than the correct form of the slang. 

I am really trying to clean up my vocabulary since this is not going to score me any points with the other mom's especially if their offspring says either version of the aforementioned -- and I seriously doubt they will be impressed if it is used correctly in a sentence.

Bike Off The Hook

I am pretty sure "off the hook" is slang for really cool, but I am using it in a literal sense.  Driving back from a suburban bike ride along the SRP canal system in April-- my bike came off the "hook" and onto the road at 60 miles per hour.  When my husband said "we just lost your bike" I thought he was kidding until I looked behind us.  I don't know if it was my unrelenting recent hormone issues or just plain displaced attachment issues because one would have thought I ran over my dog. Granted I had my Haro for nearly ten years, but, come on -- it is a freaking bike.  As a much after thought -- we are so grateful there were no cars tailgating us as is the usual case on highway 347 or the situation could have been much worse.  And I emphasize "much after thought" because I was too angry to care about anything but my poor bike.  Sadly, I screamed at my husband for not putting the bike on the rack right and yelled at myself for letting my husband put my bike on the rack.  After years of being a single parent and doing everything myself -- it seems I had become lax since getting married.  Or so I felt at the time.

After my near nervous breakdown on the road -- and after some time had passed we assessed the bike.  Oddly, it was not in as bad condition as we had expected.  The fork was slightly twisted, a pedal broken, the seat minimally mangled on one side -- but all in all in pretty decent shape.  I, on the other hand, had to apologize for losing my mind temporarily.  After some soul searching I realized our search for a house outside-the-much-despised-Maricopa was taking a toll on me and my mental state -- or lack thereof.  Our suburban bike ride along the canal that day was in a neighborhood we were looking to possibly buy in -- leaving the area that day we realized it wasn't going to be easy to escape Maricopa.  It took my bike taking-one-for-the-team for me to realize I had to "let it go."

Which I did and in the end my bike survived with only a hundred dollars or so worth of repairs.  We called Thule, maker of the bike hitch, and asked what we could be doing wrong and it turns out they had an answer.  Apparently, small bikes like mine (13 inches) cannot just "sit" on the rack they need a bike adapter bar which Thule sent us for free! So now we use the bike adapter as well as multiple ties to make sure the bike is going to stay on the rack.  I still let my husband load the bikes, but when he is not looking I double check to make sure everything is just right.

Monsoon Season

When we first got home a few days ago I noticed something in the lake behind our house.  From a distance I thought it was some type of  USGF test on the lake and/or inhabitants, but upon closer inspection I realized it was our umbrella.  Since monsoon season has started we have been fishing things both out of the lake and our pool.  You would think after three weeks here we would remember to tie down the umbrella and put things away.  Not so.  I came home today to find our umbrella in the swimming pool and pool raft in the lake.  This time the umbrella was easy to fetch out -- unlike Saturday trying to retrieve it from the lake.

Since we didn't have a boat and none of our neighbors were home we had to let the umbrella circle the lake an untold number of times until we were able to rescue it 15 hours later.  It was stinky and dirty but very much intact.  Yep, monsoon season is keeping us busy.  Regardless -- we are loving our house and our Chandler location.  It could only be more perfect if Jace were here with us.